There are many things that bring me happiness:
Hoke’s giggle
When Nattie says, “I love you, Grandma”
When my children tease one another at the dinner table
Anytime that we are all together
When Maria says, “I love you, Mom”
Long conversations with Seth
When Ryan tells us stories
Snuggling with Sarah
Driving with the music on loud
Watching people worship as I play the piano
Seeing my students play a song they love
Lunches with Christie and breakfasts with Deb
Anytime I’m teaching anything
Holding Steve’s hand
Laughing with friends
Watching Billy with Hoke and Nattie
Reading a great book
Getting up early in the morning and being alone while the house is quiet
I love all of that! And it makes me happy. Or maybe it’s better to say, I am happy and so I find great satisfaction in those things.
On the side of our refrigerator is the saying by Abraham Lincoln, “Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be,” and I believe that is the truth. Happiness is more about decision than circumstance. And it is the choice I make to find joy in the small things, in the relationships that I have, in the everyday blessings of my life, that make difficult circumstances tolerable.
If you depend on other people to make you happy, I promise you will be disappointed. Not because they are incapable, but because no one should bear that kind of responsibility for another person. You can decide that you will choose optimism over pessimism, kindness over anger, hope over disappointment and pleasantness over grumpiness. Those choices give you the ability to find joy in every day and to recognize it when jumps in front of you. It’s so easy to miss the things that really make for happiness; sometimes we are blind and deaf simply because we choose to be.
Choose well.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Thoughts on Hypocricy
The children of ministers have seen it all. You have known some of the kindest, most sincere people on earth. You have watched others struggle with lifelong addictions, at times overcoming, occasionally triumphing, and repeatedly falling. You, probably more than most are aware of the pretenders. And you are, most likely, among the harshest of judges.
Part of that you are likely entitled to, given your individual and collective life experience. Some of the people you trusted most have deeply disappointed you.
Still, hypocrite is a harsh label to attach to someone.
A hypocrite is defined as a person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess or a person who feigns some desirable or publicly approved attitude, especially . one whose private life, opinions, or statements belie his or her public statements.
Now, there are hypocrites who purposely, daily, try to fool the public for their own benefit. But most started out as sincere and along the way took a sharp left turn away from integrity and authenticity and toward pretension and deception.
Hypocrites aren’t made in a day. They don’t wake up one day and decide to lie. A hundred little decisions and dozens of first small, and then bigger compromises eventually bring them to the place of living two lives.
I know many people who fail to live up to what they believe. I am sometimes one of them. But that does not make us hypocrites. That makes us human. People who believe in kindness are sometimes unkind. People who believe in patience frequently lose theirs. Those who value truth sometimes don’t speak up when they know they should. Every person alive sometimes finds themselves at a place where they have failed to live up to everything they believe in, everything they aspire to.
So, is it better to aspire and believe and miss the mark or to just settle for a life void of any belief that might challenge or confront your behavior? If you have a bad temper, a nasty habit, a bitter temperament, should you just settle for living in your deep ditch, never seeking to curb your anger, conquer your addiction, and change your outlook?
You can’t know where people have come from and how far away from that place they have traveled. You can’t see the deep chasm they have been crawling out of or the issues that have stunted their progress.
Be hard on yourselves. Behave. Watch your mouth. Aspire to kindness. Be polite. Control your temper.
But give others a break. Don’t judge another’s intentions or assume that they are faking it. Maybe they slipped on the edge as they were crawling out of the ditch. Maybe they are human and fallible and prone to messing up. Like you. Like me.
Part of that you are likely entitled to, given your individual and collective life experience. Some of the people you trusted most have deeply disappointed you.
Still, hypocrite is a harsh label to attach to someone.
A hypocrite is defined as a person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess or a person who feigns some desirable or publicly approved attitude, especially . one whose private life, opinions, or statements belie his or her public statements.
Now, there are hypocrites who purposely, daily, try to fool the public for their own benefit. But most started out as sincere and along the way took a sharp left turn away from integrity and authenticity and toward pretension and deception.
Hypocrites aren’t made in a day. They don’t wake up one day and decide to lie. A hundred little decisions and dozens of first small, and then bigger compromises eventually bring them to the place of living two lives.
I know many people who fail to live up to what they believe. I am sometimes one of them. But that does not make us hypocrites. That makes us human. People who believe in kindness are sometimes unkind. People who believe in patience frequently lose theirs. Those who value truth sometimes don’t speak up when they know they should. Every person alive sometimes finds themselves at a place where they have failed to live up to everything they believe in, everything they aspire to.
So, is it better to aspire and believe and miss the mark or to just settle for a life void of any belief that might challenge or confront your behavior? If you have a bad temper, a nasty habit, a bitter temperament, should you just settle for living in your deep ditch, never seeking to curb your anger, conquer your addiction, and change your outlook?
You can’t know where people have come from and how far away from that place they have traveled. You can’t see the deep chasm they have been crawling out of or the issues that have stunted their progress.
Be hard on yourselves. Behave. Watch your mouth. Aspire to kindness. Be polite. Control your temper.
But give others a break. Don’t judge another’s intentions or assume that they are faking it. Maybe they slipped on the edge as they were crawling out of the ditch. Maybe they are human and fallible and prone to messing up. Like you. Like me.
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