Why I Believe

You, no doubt, are sure you know the answer to the above statement. You would say:

You grew up in a Christian home
You’ve gone to church all your life.
You’re a pastor’s wife (twice)!
You became a Christian as a child.

And all of that is true.

It is also true that I believe:
The Bible is true and infallible and relevant.
God is the creator of heaven and earth and you and me.

All of these are reasons. They are all true. But when I think about why I believe, why I have continued to believe and why I have chosen a life of service to the church it all comes down to the relationship I have experienced and continue to experience every day. Let me try to put it into words.

I have awakened in the night, having lost more than I can live without, and known in the depths of my soul that God loves me. I have felt his loving presence, his peace in circumstances that themselves were the opposite of either of peace or love.

I have watched as He has used the experiences of my life, both good and bad, to forge meaning out of loss and resilience and strength from my weaknesses.

I have struggled with the hardest of questions and found great wisdom and help in both God's book and His people.

I have known the pleasure of answered prayer. I have also seen that when the answer is, “no” that his idea of what is good for me far outweighs what I thought would be good.

I have seen transformation in my own soul that is ongoing. I am not who I used to be. I have found courage I did not posses. I have learned to forgive the unforgivable as well as the small daily grievances I encounter. I am learning to both give and recieve grace.

I have been surrounded by a caring, kind, and praying community of people who know it is their reliance on God that makes them strong. Like me, they are imperfect people, in process, aware that our journey together enhances our process.

I have learned that this relationship I am in is not about rules or ritual or religion, but truly is a living, breathing, friendship that goes far beyond any obligation or duty. Jesus does love me, with an intensity that I can’t really fathom. That Love, that person who is love, begs me to respond with as much devotion and worship as I am capable of.

That’s why.